Let’s talk about sperm

Ttc cycle #5 is underway. We did two inseminations this time, one 12 hours after lh surge began and one 36 hours. 

Obviously those samples were quite close together. I had planned to ‘pre load’ if you like by inseminating before the lh surge started and then inseminating again roughly 12 hours after lh surge began but it surprised me a day early. 

Now I’m no more a fan of spunk than the next lesbian, but I’ve got several spunk related questions swimming around my head. The first sample was a whopping 3.5mls, the second less than a measly 1ml! 

Now I know quantity does not reflect quality, that there are millions of sperm in each sample (hopefully) when it only takes one and I know it was the second sample he had given in two days but seriously?! I just don’t see how I can get pregnant from less than a ml, for a start half of it seems to get lost in the syringe, and then when I am finally brave enough to stand upright, it feels like gallons of the stuff runs right back out! I want the bloody stuff to stay up there thanks very much, I mean how do women get pregnant standing up?! What with gravity and everything how do women get pregnant at all?! If only a ml goes up there, then most of it falls back out half an hour later, how much spunk does one require? Jeeze

Dance baby

Me to the gym receptionist: Can I book on Zumba for Wednesday evening please (day before estimated LH surge and day of 1st insemination). 

A with raised eyebrows hissing in my ear: what if all the spermies fall out?! 

Zumba class cancelled…You know, Just incase that old wives tales true, you can’t get pregnant if you’re Zumba-ing! 🙊

Cd14 cycle 5 

Yesterday we got an appointment through for an infertility clinic initial consultation and I was so damn excited! It’s not until the end of January which doesn’t seem too bad to me but I’m not sure what wait to have expected. It’s NHS based although we will be paying privately, and it does seem to work out cheaper in theory than the private clinics though we shall see.

We haven’t yet booked an appointment with the private clinic we like the sound of and I’m not sure why. I suppose part of it is wanting to get this polyp issue sorted and another is that we still hope and believe that AI at home should work if we do. 

This cycle may be a bit tricky as I seem to ovulate on CD19 and on CD 21 our sperm guy is jetting off to Portugal. Obviously if I ovulate when I think I will this will be ok but I am worried it will be a dud. Started getting the flashing smilie today which is Cd14 to signify high fertility so fingers crossed o happens before my spermies leave the country! X

Pain

AF and the polyp are conspiring against me. I am in so much pain, this week has been horrendous. I even left work yesterday three hours early as I just couldn’t cope any more and didn’t know what to do. Spoke to my GP and was in such a mess she thought I was having a miscarriage. CD5 and I’m still in pain, though dosed up on prescription pain killers so it’s manageable. Normally by now it’s almost gone as AF is on her last legs.

One problem: now the pain is manageable my appetite is back. Just devoured a chocolate doughnut for breakfast. This is not helpful for losing weight! FFS. 

AF strikes again

CD1. I’d pretty much resigned myself to the fact this would happen, but it’s still a blow. Cue me sobbing into A’s arms. I know I ovulated, I know we had sperm in the right place at the right time and my endometrium was thick and ready. Could the polyp be doing this? Stopping implantation. Surely though if the egg had fertilised but couldn’t implant cuz of the polyp I’d have had a positive test then AF like in a chemical? So what’s the deal? sperm not good? There sure was plenty of it….

A lady from a fertility clinic should be calling today. A has a list of questions and I can’t wait to find out what she says especially regarding the polyp and my BMI which is an outrageous 33!! Fingers crossed they’ll still see us, we’ve got 6 months to go through the process of getting the donors sperm ok’d before we can even attemp IVF so that’s time to lose a few pounds. They should see us right?
Ive joined us up to a gym and swimming pool to assist in this matter. Before the clocks changed I had got myself into a good habit of cycling with the dog every day after work in the forest, but now it’s too dark and last time I had a near miss with a bat! Not to mention how my imagination goes into overdrive when I’m alone in a dark forest….. So night time cycling or jogging is off and I need to replace it. The idea is I will go swimming at least twice a week and gym at least twice with my cycle rides in the glorious daylight at weekends. I eat healthily generally though indulge too much at weekends so the exercise and being stricter on my days off should help me get rid of a few pounds. I do miss my evening cycles with the pooch however, how beautiful is my forest? 

 

Bfn

BFN.

I tested on 10dpo (Friday)and 12dpo (today) I’m now on cd 31. If AF doesn’t show by Tuesday which will be 14dpo I will most probably test again but in all honestly there’s no point is there. 

I have cramps still, and tender boobs. I can honestly say I wasn’t symptom spotting but they’re just so obvious I can’t ignore them, I’ve barely been able to tolerate my bra this week! I feel like my body is taunting me….

I just want to know When. I can wait a year, two, three….I don’t want to but if I knew I would get my baby in the end then I could just stop this constant thought process that’s driving me mad! It’s the not knowing if it will ever work that gets to me.