I tested on 10dpo (Friday)and 12dpo (today) I’m now on cd 31. If AF doesn’t show by Tuesday which will be 14dpo I will most probably test again but in all honestly there’s no point is there. 

I have cramps still, and tender boobs. I can honestly say I wasn’t symptom spotting but they’re just so obvious I can’t ignore them, I’ve barely been able to tolerate my bra this week! I feel like my body is taunting me….

I just want to know When. I can wait a year, two, three….I don’t want to but if I knew I would get my baby in the end then I could just stop this constant thought process that’s driving me mad! It’s the not knowing if it will ever work that gets to me. 


3 thoughts on “Bfn

  1. I agree with you – the hardest thing I found even just a short time into TTC-ing was not having any idea when or if it would work. That’s really tough, because I don’t think there are that many things in life that work that way (except for maybe playing the lottery). A friend of mine put it much better than I could when she said that the rubbish thing with TTC is that it is so out of your control – generally in life if you want something bad enough you can get there by doing more, working harder etc. TTC just isn’t like that, sadly. Anyway, sending good luck wishes.


    1. I still feel like it would work i tried hard enough, lost enough weight, ate healthily enough, knew enough! But the truth is lots of that would help but wouldn’t mean it would happen, like you say it’s totally out of our control x

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh the tried hard enough comment there made me especially sad- I think we as women end up under so much pressure when it comes to child bearing. It’s so easy to see from the outside that it’s not your ‘fault’ but I completely understand why you’d end up feeling that way. I guess the important thing is to recognise (as you’re doing) that it’s just a stupid feeling- it’s not true X


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