Again and again 

Cd1. How many times?? I didn’t cry today because I’ve had period pains for two days now and had a meltdown last night which got it all out. My poor A bore the brunt yet again, seriously love that girl.

This cycle was 31 days, last was 26. I’m so confused with it all so I’ve started temping now so I can try and work out if and when ovulation is actually happening. I put it off for a while, originally cuz of working shift work my temps just didn’t make sense but now in 9-5 so I should get a decent pattern. 

Right now Were seriously reconsidering our sperm guy. 

I’m fed up of feeling like I owe them. 

We, mainly I, want to use a known donor as morally I feel our child has a right to grow up knowing where he or she came from genetically speaking. Neither of us want to be a dad so don’t feel threatened by the idea of our child having a third or even forth ‘parent’. We’re relaxed about terms and contact, and would just see what evolved naturally. No pressure. But these guys were using now, our friends, well I feel like we’re getting on their nerves and that he’s not into helping us so much any more. It’s giving me the guilts and that makes me feel so small and powerless.

We’ve no idea who else to ask. A thinks we should use someone anonymous…..I just don’t know. 

Today, mainly I am confused. 

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