My next period 

I’m obsessed with reading about IVF. Unsuccessful IVF particularly. I don’t think this is beneficial at all, everyone keeps telling me that I need to think positive as it will help. We’ve done some positive things, like put the heating on in the would be baby’s room. What baby would want to come into a world where it has a cold room?? 

But it won’t make a bloody difference will it, not really. So what’s the point. Argh, Every time I think about our upcoming IVF I just want to cry, and often I do. I want this so very badly, just like all the rest of you out there. Wanting it doesn’t change anything. 

I’m pretty nervous about the whole thing too, I don’t feel excicited exactly but I do feel this overwhelming yearning to.just.start.already. I want this, I need this. I feel a bit desperate.

We start potentially on my next period!  Which I estimate is about 2 weeks away. We may get deferred to next cycle due to the numbers of people they have on their books ATM. It’s NHS so I’m happy to wait to when is appropriate as I’m just so bloody grateful for the opportunity. I can’t wait til my period! What a strange thing! 

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