Fertilisation 

3 embryos 

It only takes one…right???? 

Preliminary transfer scheduled for tomorrow 10.40, day 2 but dependant on how they develope. We will find out tomorrow morning. If all three are thriving then they’ll be left to battle it out until Tuesday, day 5.

Feeling a bit numb. 

Another week of down reg 

Today was my first scan on down reg, not terribly exciting but it’s nice to be doing something further in this process and feels like a mini milestone. It was in the middle of the day but I had a day off so made a day out of it by going on an explore with my doggies this morning and a cuppa and a cuddle with my friend and her two gorgeous babes. My beautiful kind thoughtful wife also bought me a massage for my birthday (December) which I’m off for this afternoon 💞💞

I started down regulation on the 27th December so now we’re at day 17 of that, however I only started my period two days ago with proper bleeding only starting this morning so I wasn’t shocked to hear my linings at almost 10mm still. Looking online everyone’s freaking out when this has happened to them but I’m simply not worried. I know my linings usually quite thick from previous scans and my periods tend to be heavy and I just believe this part at least is going to be fine. This is the easy bit right?! All will be revealed in a week either way. 

What I am starting to struggle with is how very much I want this to work, I’m in, I’m invested, I’m hopeful and optimistic and bloody hell its going to hurt if it doesn’t work. I’ve only just started on my first IVF journey and am realising the magnitude of it all. But I do want to believe. It feels good to believe.

If I had a 25% chance of winning the lotto you bet I’d be playing ❤🌈❤

Side note; I’ve put on 4lbs since before Xmas. Currently I am blaming Xmas/birthday/new year foods, significant reduction in ability to exercise due to down reg exhaustion and repeated advice to tone down the cardio (I was hitting it hard) a new and very seious chocolate addiction and the meds them selves. Now I needs to deal with this, this week. No chocolate. Get off my ass and at least walk around a bit 🙄 and careful on the carbs. I hope I’m listening to myself. 

Fertility counselling 

I had massively bigged this appointment up in my head as the really real official for sure its gunna happen fo reals start in our ttc journey. Ok, maybe not just in my head either, I pretty much told everyone! This was it!

We got to graduate you see, from gynae clinic to The Fertility Centre. It has its own reception and everything. It seemed a big deal! I even took the day off work. Slight regrets. 

We arrived 20 or so minutes early and pretty much ran up the stairs to the clinic. Through the double doors to the reception and proudly announced we had an appointment. They had our notes ready, a set each, eek! And then through the other set of doors to the long awaited fertility clinic. 

Ok so I expected something a little more geleemy. It was a bit of a hole, a corridor with no end point and rows of chairs. A depressing coffee machine and ‘lost families’ on repeat. Probs not the best choice (just sayin’) 

we waited a good 40 minutes to be called but we didn’t mind (we took a couple of selfies and even spotted a couple of other lesbos!) and then it was our turn! 

We followed the nice lady in eagerly. Into a hot tiny typically nhs non room, full of Windows and too low furniture and then she made some bad joke about why we were there. Mmmm. Ok now I was off my game. I can do jokey but this is not joke to me, this is my life lady. It just got worse, so some bad info about IVF, of which she clearly she has no idea. Worse info about how to tell your child they were conceived! Show them this book! That’ll do! (What about the love and blood and sweat and courage and and and!) and the really bad so terribly awful non info about our funding! I’m not even going to go there but she gave us her pointless opinion on possibly the most important financial status we wil ever go through with no knowledge no facts and without considering the impact her speculating may have.

I love the NHS. But jobs like hers would save us a shit load of money.

Looking forward 

A good friend of mine has been ttc for a couple of years with her husband. No problems picked up but no baby. So recently they’ve been to the appointment we have kind up for June, the one with the 5 month waiting list to get, and they’ve been told they can start IVF on her next period! I can’t believe this, I thought it would be months of waiting again. Oh god I am so happy for her and so happy for me, it’s all within grasp! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️